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8 Steps To Take if You’re Being Fooled by Someone You Love

Sophie Simons
January 20, 2024

Being cheated or getting fooled by a person you are passionately in love with can be a trembling thought (for sure!). Just like another person punched in your gut. True, right?

According to research, almost 92% of people in relationships admit lying to their partner in certain situations. This clearly shows that many individuals are likely to fool you at any point – no matter if you’re prepared enough to carry their bag of liars on your shoulders or not.

Here, you will begin to question your worth. Different queries start to pop up in your mind, like Did I deserve this after all the effort I put into having this person?” and “How could I have been an idiot like this?

You’re going through a lot now, whether it's the feeling of loneliness, betrayal, confusion, and deep ache in your heart. But it’s time to know why it hurts so much and how to handle this hurtful situation (because my darling… you can). Let’s start.

Why It Hurts So Much To Be Fooled By Someone You Love

A sense of injustice combined with self-doubt hits you. Although no one should experience this emotional breakdown and worse feeling, many people choose to lie to save themselves. It also fills you with fear and rage.

But why is it hurting you so badly while the other person is living life happily? Let’s find out.

1. You Trust Them Completely

You trusted your partner to the fullest, and this sudden betrayal ruined this foundation instantly. Being deceived cannot feel right in any way, and it creates a vulnerable state in your mind.

When we don’t think that this can happen, it breaks us deeply when the opposite happens.

Accepting the act that they didn’t love you and might not tell you the truth is undoubtedly a hard pill to swallow. And due to this broken trust, it is hurting so much.

2. Intense Emotional Investment

Intense feelings were involved by your side. You’re unable to forget how deep the connection was. The lack of support is now missing from your life, which is making you sad.

Everyone who puts effort in the other person and invests in the other person is emotionally expert to have the same in return.

But unfortunately, this didn’t happen in your case, and it left the impact of betrayal. When we depend on our partners, this attachment tends to make us feel like we cannot be stable without them.

3. Your Affection Is Blinding You To Reality

Being the genuine lover in your love story, you are having a tough time seeing and bearing the truth. This is what makes you blind to the bitter reality. 

As we often hear the proverb, “Love is Blind,” the true meaning of it comes outside when we find ourselves in the same situation, and acceptance of the fact that they ditched you seems impossible. 

Right now, you do not have sufficient experience to see beyond what you’re seeing.

8 Ways To Recover When You're Deceived By Someone You Love

Lying is quite a minacious behavior, especially when it enters a love relationship. Your trust is shattered, and the positive aspects of your current relationship become spoiled. Only you’re familiar with the kind of battle you’re fighting with your own self.

But you know what? After every darkness, sunshine waits for you and finds your way. To help you with that, we’re here with the foolproof solutions to deal with this heartbreak.

Must follow these tips & tricks for coping with this situation effectively:

1. Practice Forgiveness (Don’t Forget)

The first step you need to take is letting go of that person, but don’t forget the deception. It’s not a simple journey to reach a place where you’re ready to forgive the people who fooled you.

However, one thing that you need to remember is that this forgiveness will free your soul and help you move on further, ultimately making you strong and fearless.

According to research, forgiveness boosts positive emotions, grows you spiritually, and gives you a sense of empowerment.

Before you forgive them, make sure you forgive yourself first. Accept their perspective openly.

2. Trust Your Instincts

Your intuition doesn’t lie to you. When they lie, you somehow know that they’re wrong somewhere, and you are getting fooled.

Don’t ignore this gut feeling, especially if you have an authentic, logical explanation.

If they are constantly lying and looking away or trying to change the main subject when you ask questions about that, this is the biggest red flag. 

Be honest to yourself, hold on to your emotions, and catch them red-handed —- now!

3. Gather More Solid Proof

Once you’re sure about their deceiving act, it’s time to gather some solid proof and suspect them with a keen eye so they don’t get any chance to manipulate you.

Try collecting all the texts where your partner was not telling the truth or any Insta photos from their timeline when they were out while they told you that they were inside the home.

In addition, you can also talk to your family member or friend who saw them with someone else and caught them cheating on you.

This way, they won’t be able to gaslight you or deny it, as you’ve all the evidence.

4. Feel Your Emotions And Promote Self-Worth

Process your feelings of grief instead of pushing them aside. Otherwise, it’ll smash like a volcano once you’re tired of holding on to them for so long.

It’s important to become more tolerant, but it doesn’t mean that you should not allow yourself to feel all your anger, betrayal, and sadness from being deceived. 

Cry out loud, write it down, and release it out! Meanwhile, it’s also crucial to concentrate on self-love, self-care, and self-worth.  

Engage in activities that can promote your health, protect you from diseases that are likely to come with pain, and limit this illness.

You’re still worthy of care like you were before.

5. Confront Them Fearlessly

Are you being duped by your partner? Well, you can try out certain things to handle this.

First and foremost, find a quiet place to sit down, confront them, and tell them that you’re familiar with whatever they were doing for a few days or months. 

Ask them why they did that, and listen to what they say with patience.

Still, if they are lying to you and denying it, show them the proof you’ve already gathered. You need to tell them how this deceiving behavior broke you.

Ignore every single loved moment you spent with that person in your school and how sweet his talks were. Be fully prepared for this confrontation.

6. Set Your Boundaries

Don’t ignore the pain, and be determined to set boundaries. Of course, how long can you allow someone to manipulate you and take advantage of your innocence?

Remember, the right time to take steps for your physical and mental well-being is now!

Decide what you’re actually comfortable with and what’s going beyond these boundaries. Let them know your boundaries clearly, and step back if they’re not respecting your space.

This will eventually help you create a safe room for heading and rebuilding trust with others.

7. Take Proper Time To Heal

The process of healing takes time, and it is an energy-requiring process that needs proper care. Since ancient times, people have been practicing the arts of healing, whether it’s for the body or heartache.

After this emotional toll of being fooled by your loved one, it’s crucial to heal yourself.

Pamper yourself, spend time with your family, believe in yourself, and accept that this was not your fault. Therefore, you don’t deserve this pain either.

Sometimes, we cannot carry the hassle of betrayal feelings and get tired, but there’s no way to make this process instant — allow yourself time.

8. Seek Support From Therapist

To cope with this pain of being fooled, seeking support becomes fundamental, especially when it doesn’t seem to be possible to carry all this alone.

Reach out to a trusted friend or family member for empathy and guidance.

This supportive network will definitely help you recover quickly and help you with solutions for dealing with it. So, let them know what happened to you.

If nothing works out, you can see a relationship therapist for emotional stability. Soon, you will be able to move forward with your normal life. Not it down!

Bottom Line: Carry the Lesson, Not The Pain

It can be a challenging experience to be fooled by the person you love. But keep in mind that this is not the full stop, and life will go on. The road to recovery might seem to be tough and long, but this, too, shall pass.

Deception is something no one should tolerate in any condition, no matter how strong your bond is. To overcome this, taking proactive steps is important to help you in healing. It’s high time to focus on personal growth and practice self-care.

Learn from this experience, and don’t see the books backward!

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Sophie Simons

Sophie Simons is a leading psychologist with a passion for enriching relationships. Through empathetic counseling and insightful guidance, she empowers couples and individuals to foster deeper connections, resolve conflicts, and create lasting harmony. Sophie's expertise in relationship advice has touched countless lives, making her a trusted source for building fulfilling partnerships.

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