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Can You Ever Stop Loving Someone?

Sophie Simons
July 26, 2023

When partners develop a loving relationship, there’s no guarantee it will endure the test of time. If a breakup happens, though, does that automatically mean that the love you feel for the other person just stops? Love doesn’t just go away.

It’s a powerful emotion. Love involves a deep bond, a meaningful connection, and a profound intimacy that grows the more familiar you become and the longer you’re together. While partnerships sometimes won’t last forever, maybe life circumstances make that impossible, it doesn’t mean you turn your feelings off when it ends.

While you settle into a new normal, that person will find a place in your memories where you’ll tuck the feelings you had for them. Each time a thought comes to mind, or you run into that individual, or you go to a place you frequented together, those old emotions rush back. You might not necessarily be in love any longer, but you’ll always have a special place in your heart.

Is It Possible To Truly Stop Loving Someone

Can You Ever Stop Loving Someone

Many people are unsure when two people are unable to maintain a relationship, and whether they can ever stop loving each other. That’s especially true if the end of the partnership is ugly. Does that immediately kill the love the two people shared? 

Most underestimate the power associated with love, the depth of the connection when love is involved, how meaningful the bond becomes, and the level of intimacy. These make an incredible impression on the soul, not something that will just spontaneously combust because you say goodbye.

Regardless if you no longer see this person, there will be a time when you run into them or go to a favorite spot or even just have a memory sparked that will make it seem as though no time has passed. 

It’s sort of the same vein as a best friend you haven’t seen in years but when you get back together, it’s as though time stood still. You might no longer be romantically in love with this person but that deep connection, a love still exists. 

How can you tell your feelings of being in love are beginning to wane? Let’s look at signs that love is beginning to fade into something different.

1. It might not be gone but it’s different

Love might not be gone but it’s definitely changed when you avoid emotional conversations or spending time with your partner. If you find it difficult to express feelings or ideas with your mate when it was at one point simple to do, the dynamics of the relationship are changing. It could mean the partnership is beginning to come to an end. 

Often, this means falling out of romantic love, but that doesn’t mean the unconditional feelings of love that you felt for this person simply dissipate; it’s different. Does that mean your partner will want to maintain a close friendship; no. Some people have a difficult time making friendship work after a failed romantic relationship.

What it does mean, though, is that neither of you will lose those strong feelings you developed over the course of the relationship. They just get tucked away with memories.

2. Other people catch your attention

When you’re in love with someone, they have your undivided attention. There’s little likelihood that anyone else will be able to distract you. If it’s possible that you’re starting to fall out of love, you could be starting to wonder what it would be like to be single or consider what life would be like apart from this individual. 

Many times when people are no longer in love with their mate, they start to feel jealous of their single friends or begin to fantasize about relationships with other people they meet in their day-to-day life situations. 

Does this mean you can stop loving your partner? You can certainly stop being in love with a mate, romantic love. You’ll probably always have unconditional feelings of love and respect for the person, but some romantic relationships aren’t meant to stand the test of time. 

When you find yourself dreaming of life without your current mate more regularly, you’ve obviously lost your romantic inclinations and need to move on from the partnership instead of risking hurting that person. When you break things off amicably, there’s a better chance of holding onto the meaningful connection you’ve established, the unconditional love as people.

3. The future is on hold

Falling out of romantic love means putting the future on hold. Nowadays, making future plans is more about scheduling weekend getaways, considering a holiday away for the following summer, or setting up holiday festivities that include your romantic partner not necessarily playing an engagement or wedding.

If you’re making plans even just for the following week that don’t include the person you’re in love with, it could mean those feelings of being in love are beginning to go away. 

Whether it’s a work event, a social gathering among friends, or a family get-together, if you don’t consider telling your partner about it let alone taking them with you, it’s a sign that your emotions are changing and it will be a tell-tale sign for your partner too.


Love isn’t an emotion that will just go away simply because a romantic relationship ends. You’ll always remember that person with fondness, respect, and feelings of a different kind of unconditional love. What does fade over time when a partnership isn’t working is being in love. You can certainly stop being in romantic love.

Many signs will pop up when romantic love is starting to fade including your lack of desire to spend time with the other person, an inability to communicate as freely as you once were, and a curiosity about what it would be like to be single, a constant attraction to people other than your mate.

When romantic love ends, the thing to remember is that each person deserves a committed love that will stand the test of time. You might not have found that romantic love together but that doesn’t mean it’s not out there or that you won’t find it. It also doesn’t mean the sort of platonic love the two of you do have can’t be shared for a lifetime.

Love is powerful. Once it develops, it might not stay the same but it won’t simply dissipate because of a breakup or change of heart. 

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Sophie Simons

Sophie Simons

Sophie Simons is a leading psychologist with a passion for enriching relationships. Through empathetic counseling and insightful guidance, she empowers couples and individuals to foster deeper connections, resolve conflicts, and create lasting harmony. Sophie's expertise in relationship advice has touched countless lives, making her a trusted source for building fulfilling partnerships.

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