Find meaning in what you are going through, and let it happen! Nobody likes break-ups, and some might even say that terminating relationships is one of the scariest things in life. There’s even an acronym for it – FOBO.

So if you read this, at least know that you are not the only one. The truth is, it happens! And it can happen to anyone, at any age and under a whole array of various circumstances. As the song goes, nothing lasts forever, be it a relationship or a break up!

Is break up regret normal? 

It definitely is, and there is no correct or faulty way to go through it! Even more so if you were the one to cut the rope. But the regret itself doesn’t tell you anything about whether the decision was a good or a bad one.

Regret only shows that you are human, that you care, and that there is still space for you to learn. As mentioned earlier, before getting over it, first try to understand what and why it happened. And make sure to take your time.

Do men ever regret breaking up with a girl? 

Both men and women feel that both men and women make decisions, so both men and women might find themselves in a state of regret after splitting. In an article on Better, Nicole Specter even tries to argue that men might never fully recover after a breakup.

However, let’s not take her word for granted and go a bit deeper into the subject. After all, processing loss is something we all need to go through at one point or another, so things are not as dramatic as you might think!

The famous “Five stages of grief” are famous for a reason – be prepared and… enjoy! You will be in denial, and then you might feel angry just to get into a nice and cozy period of depression before accepting the fact and moving forward. There is a good article by Paula Thomson if you want to know more about these five stages in this particular situation. 

6 Things to do if you regret breaking up with her

If you have arrived at this point in the reading, take a moment to congratulate yourself for getting so far and know that if you are a man, you already did more than most men tend to do when experiencing regret. That is, you took the time and space to try and understand what it is that you are going through. And to put some conclusion to this talk, here are some things that you can practically do when you regret a breakup:

1. Take your time!

There is only one deadline when going through life, and you shouldn’t rush towards it. So be patient, pay attention, breathe out, and breathe in. Each person has a certain rhythm, and the best thing you can do is find yours, embrace it, and keep dancing to the music of existence.

2. Don’t deny it!

Machism and “staying strong because men are not supposed to suffer” will only make things worse, and you’ll end up suffering more than you should. Break-ups are complicated, regardless of who made the decision and how it happened, so it is perfectly normal to regret, be angry, feel depressed, or feel lost. Accept each emotion, take them one by one, and then you’ll find ways to really be rational about it.

3. Assume responsibility

You’ve probably heard it thousands of times before, but maybe it wasn’t put the right way. Assuming responsibility does not mean feeling guilty. It means understanding the power you actually have over your own life and learning to take healthy actions towards improving it.

4. Talk

Yes, talk! Talk to your family, or your friends, or a therapist, or a total stranger on the road. Repeat it, rephrase it, replay it, and just let it out! Keep talking until it becomes a happy memory.

5. Find comfort in higher things

Your relationship wasn’t about who was right or who was wrong, who was guilty, and who was the victim. Any relationship is about humans in the ocean of humanity and humanity in the context of the Universe.

Look around, see the bigger picture, and remember that existence is greater than momentary romance. Work, do what you love, and move on.

6. Detach

Let go of your ego, and frustration will let you go.

5 Possible reasons why you regret breaking up with her

However regret manifests in your case, it could be helpful to understand why you ended up feeling like this. Following are some reasons why you might feel regret about breaking up with her:

1. The event is recent, and you are still in the grieving process. Time needs time to help you heal, so be patient. Take each moment one at a time, and when you feel you cannot be in the present moment, try looking towards the future.
2. It was a silly break-up, but when things are put in balance, the good weighs more than the bad. If you also feel she’s the only woman you have eyes for – talk to her. Maybe it’s all just a temporary loss of direction, and the two of you should actually be together. However, don’t forget that a relationship takes two, so make sure she’s in the same boat as you.
3. You are going through hard times for different reasons, and your mind sends you back to what it can remember as being safe. But your feelings in this situation are just an illusion, and they don’t prove that the relationship was indeed a safe place or that it should have continued. Talk to somebody and find out what the actual problem is – you might find out that regret over the break-up is just a disguise for some other type of issue.
4. Childhood trauma makes it hard for you to let go… This case is more complex than a simple article could cover, and the best approach to it might be to talk to a therapist. You’ll know this is the case if you see a pattern of behavior and if none of the other possible reasons for regret can better explain how you feel.

Conclusion

We know that men are not big fans of motivational or inspirational quotes. But if there is one piece of advice you could take home when going through break-up regret, it would be, “Be patient!

With yourself, with her, and with the Whole World!”. If we are to take Mo Gawdat’s word for it, being happy is a matter of mathematics (a book which we highly recommend reading, by the way!). Learn the equation, and your problems will be solved!