Find meaning in what you are going through, and let it happen! Nobody likes break-ups, and some might even say that terminating relationships is one of the scariest things in life. There’s even an acronym for it - FOBO.
So if you read this, at least know that you are not the only one. The truth is, it happens! And it can happen to anyone, at any age and under a whole array of various circumstances. As the song goes, nothing lasts forever, be it a relationship or a break up!
It definitely is, and there is no correct or faulty way to go through it! Even more so if you were the one to cut the rope. But the regret itself doesn’t tell you anything about whether the decision was a good or a bad one.
Regret only shows that you are human, that you care, and that there is still space for you to learn. As mentioned earlier, before getting over it, first try to understand what and why it happened. And make sure to take your time.
Both men and women feel that both men and women make decisions, so both men and women might find themselves in a state of regret after splitting. In an article on Better, Nicole Specter even tries to argue that men might never fully recover after a breakup.
However, let’s not take her word for granted and go a bit deeper into the subject. After all, processing loss is something we all need to go through at one point or another, so things are not as dramatic as you might think!
The famous “Five stages of grief” are famous for a reason - be prepared and… enjoy! You will be in denial, and then you might feel angry just to get into a nice and cozy period of depression before accepting the fact and moving forward. There is a good article by Paula Thomson if you want to know more about these five stages in this particular situation.
If you have arrived at this point in the reading, take a moment to congratulate yourself for getting so far and know that if you are a man, you already did more than most men tend to do when experiencing regret. That is, you took the time and space to try and understand what it is that you are going through. And to put some conclusion to this talk, here are some things that you can practically do when you regret a breakup:
There is only one deadline when going through life, and you shouldn’t rush towards it. So be patient, pay attention, breathe out, and breathe in. Each person has a certain rhythm, and the best thing you can do is find yours, embrace it, and keep dancing to the music of existence.
Machism and “staying strong because men are not supposed to suffer” will only make things worse, and you’ll end up suffering more than you should. Break-ups are complicated, regardless of who made the decision and how it happened, so it is perfectly normal to regret, be angry, feel depressed, or feel lost. Accept each emotion, take them one by one, and then you’ll find ways to really be rational about it.
You’ve probably heard it thousands of times before, but maybe it wasn’t put the right way. Assuming responsibility does not mean feeling guilty. It means understanding the power you actually have over your own life and learning to take healthy actions towards improving it.
Yes, talk! Talk to your family, or your friends, or a therapist, or a total stranger on the road. Repeat it, rephrase it, replay it, and just let it out! Keep talking until it becomes a happy memory.
Your relationship wasn’t about who was right or who was wrong, who was guilty, and who was the victim. Any relationship is about humans in the ocean of humanity and humanity in the context of the Universe.
Look around, see the bigger picture, and remember that existence is greater than momentary romance. Work, do what you love, and move on.
Let go of your ego, and frustration will let you go.
However regret manifests in your case, it could be helpful to understand why you ended up feeling like this. Following are some reasons why you might feel regret about breaking up with her:
We know that men are not big fans of motivational or inspirational quotes. But if there is one piece of advice you could take home when going through break-up regret, it would be, “Be patient!
With yourself, with her, and with the Whole World!”. If we are to take Mo Gawdat’s word for it, being happy is a matter of mathematics (a book which we highly recommend reading, by the way!). Learn the equation, and your problems will be solved!