Saying “I love you” is a complex and profound statement, but it doesn’t always convey this profoundness. The way it is said counts just as much as the context and the entire energy surrounding this declaration. So, what does it mean when a guy says “I love you” over text? It is not as easy as it might seem to answer this question without considering factors such as context, the stage of the relationship, and communication style.
Saying these three words can be an important step for every couple, and it shouldn’t be taken lightly. Here are some reasons behind a guy’s “I love you” declaration over text and how you might want to receive it.
Saying these powerful words via text is more accessible for guys who don’t handle rejection very well. This is something you want to consider if your bond hasn’t gotten to the Love phase yet. Maybe he is afraid that these feelings are not mutual and prefers to share them via text to avoid the pressure of a reaction.
If this is the case, it is also an opportunity for you to be honest about your feelings. If you share his feelings, let him know. If you are at a different level just yet, but you want to continue your connection, be honest about that as well. It would be a good idea to talk about your feelings face to face at your next meeting as well, to cover the profoundness of your relationship and know where you both stand emotionally.
Sometimes, saying “I love you” over text is the only way to say it. This is particularly true if you two have a long-distance relationship and you are used to communicating via text or if your guy is traveling a lot and you don’t meet as often as you would love to.
For long-distance relationships, such a declaration made over text is the norm, considering the circumstances. But if you doubt his true intentions, you can always video call him and see how these feelings transpire then. Chances are that if he tells you he loves you, despite the challenges you two face when it comes to being together, he truly means it.
Saying “I love you” is a big step, and some guys might be too shy to say it in person. If this is the case, you probably saw it coming for a while by the time you actually received the big message. You noticed his feelings in the way he looked at you or listened to your stories and how he seemed to make himself available for you even during the busiest days.
Cut him some slack and give him credit for actually sending you the “I love you” text if this is the case. He probably thought about it over and over again before writing it and hitting the send button, full of hope that you could feel the same.
As much as you want to take his words to heart, there is a chance he is using a strategy that always got him what he wanted: s*x. As unappealing as this sounds, some guys know exactly what a girl wants to hear (or read) to get in her pants. And he might be one of them.
Other signs of this strategy are if, for instance, he says it too early after you meet him. Or if he asks you for some sexy selfies soon after “confessing his feelings” to you. If this happens, take his love declaration with a grain of salt.
If you qualify such a text as being a superficial way to talk about one’s feelings, you might want to consider how much weight he puts on these words to begin with. If he uses the word “love” loosely and seems to love everything and everyone, he might not understand the profoundness of this statement. As a result, he might let his hormones speak for him.
Dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin are three significant hormones that increase when we are attracted to someone or do something we enjoy to a high point. But attraction doesn’t necessarily mean love; it could very well be a physical attraction that ends sooner than it started. Give him some weeks to see how he feels when these hormones find a balance, and don’t get your hopes up because he texted you the magical three words.
In the best-case scenario, your guy said “I love you” over text for all the right reasons. He might genuinely feel this complex emotion and be ready to enter a commitment that would gratify such feelings. Even if making such a declaration over the phone might not seem like the best choice, what matters more is that he wants to take your relationship to the next step.
Such a loaded “I love you” will most likely come with more than just these three words. He will write you a detailed declaration, using his most romantic words, and offer you a new perspective on your bond. Maybe he wants to make your relationship official and become your boyfriend.
When it comes to relationships, consider the entire dynamic between you and your partner before you make up your mind. If you want to build a relationship that withstands the test of time, keep in mind that words have to be backed up by actions. So, regardless of how he declares his feelings for you or how romantic he gets, you want to look at his actions before you decide to dive into this connection both feet in. Saying “I love you” is easy, but at the end of the day, love is a verb, and you deserve an active type of love that goes beyond romantic statements.