They say first love never dies — Is it true? From time to time, do you find your thoughts drifting back to that person you first opened your heart to, or are you impervious to their existence at this point? Many girls claim their first love will always hold a place in their hearts, but is it the same way with guys?
Guys still think about their first love, especially if this relationship left an indelible mark on their lives. Some may romanticize it to the verge of spoiling their chances of finding love again. Meanwhile, others merely have fond recollections of their first experience with love.
Stick around to find out why some guys never really lose feelings for their first love, what makes them constantly think back to those good old days, and how long it may take for them to get over their first love. You’ll also read about why some guys could never really get their first love out of their minds and why some pursue this lost love even after so many years have already passed. Let’s start!
First, love is typically associated with hearts fluttering, sparks flying, and that overall feeling of giddiness. It’s not surprising because, according to a 2005 study that looked into the fMRI scans of couples in love, being in a romantic relationship is similar to a state of addiction. Your body releases norepinephrine, dopamine, endorphins, oxytocin, and serotonin when you’re in love, and these chemicals and hormones are associated with:
Imagine experiencing all these for the very first time in your life. It’s no wonder that for most people, their first love will always be unforgettable.
Some men describe their first time falling in love as an intense, overwhelming, and visceral feeling. Eventually, these feelings may wane, especially if the relationship doesn’t work out, but they never completely go away. Most men never entirely lose feelings for their first love because the neurological and emotional imprints they experienced were too intense to get over.
Guys are usually not as sentimental as girls, so if they’re thinking quite often about their first love, that person must have certainly made an impact in their lives. They’ll fondly recall that person’s amusing quirks, how it felt being together, and perhaps how their love blossomed.
These nostalgic recollections may pervade their daily routines, so much so that they end up entertaining thoughts of rekindling this romance. Since they’ve somehow placed their first love on a pedestal, nobody could ever measure up.
Alternatively, there are guys who rarely (perhaps even never) think about their first love. That relationship might have developed as passionately as first love experiences usually do, but they deem it merely as young love, one that could never be recreated and is, therefore, a thing of the past.
There are no hard and fast rules on how long it should take to get over a first love or any other romantic relationship. It may take some people just a few days, while for others, it may take years to move on.
It may be a debatable point, but guys typically have a tougher time getting over a heartbreak, especially if it involves their first love. You see, men and women handle heartaches differently. Women turn to their families and friends for support. They talk about their lost love for hours on end, cry together over coffee, and analyze every detail of the breakup until the wee hours of the morning.
On the other hand, men usually bottle their feelings up inside of them. They rarely share with their friends or family how the rejection or failed relationship was a direct blow to their self-esteem. They don’t verbalize their emotions and how they suddenly feel misplaced, alone, and unwanted.
Sometimes, if they’re at fault, some guys find it challenging to own up to their shortcomings and mistakes. Others even go into a stage of denial, thus aggravating the situation because this seemingly simple dismissal of accountability can snowball into an inability to move on. This leads to guys sometimes taking much longer than girls to get over their first love.
Depending on how the relationship progresses, guys usually never forget their first love. A man would either idealize or devalue his first love because his first foray into a romantic affair left such an indelible mark. This can potentially influence his future relationships.
Guys who idealize their first love see their special someone in such a positive light that they may sometimes project characteristics and traits onto them that were never really there. They see them as a standard by which all other potential partners will be measured. They look back on the time they shared with nostalgia, wishing they could recreate the magic, passion, and exhilaration they once enjoyed.
On the other hand, guys who devalue their first love may run the risk of never experiencing true love. They may be in danger of being stuck in the past, thus crushing their chances of finding love again. They might unknowingly sabotage potential relationships simply because they’re shielding their hearts from getting broken again.
The chances of a guy going back to his first love hinges on how strong their connection was when they were still together, how their relationship ended, and most importantly, what his current situation is.
If they had the classic first love experience where everything was rosy and exciting, as might be expected, a guy would want to have this person back in his life. Chance encounters provide the perfect backdrop for getting back together since these are frequently interpreted as fate taking up the reins to kick off the reconciliation.
If the relationship ended on a sour note, guys would probably think twice, even thrice, before pursuing their first love again, and understandably so. Giving the relationship another try might seem like a bold act, but more often than not, rekindling tarnished love can be extremely exhausting and not worth their while.
However, if a guy is currently in a relationship with someone who makes them happy and content, it’s unlikely he’ll even consider chasing after his first love. He may think about that special person now and then, but only with feelings of sentimentality, amusement, or appreciation.
On the other hand, if he’s unhappy in his current relationship, a guy might begin thinking his first love is the only person who can truly make him happy and fill his needs. He may start regretting how their relationship didn’t work out and start convincing himself that he shouldn’t let such a wonderful person getaway.
“'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.“ - Alfred, Lord Tennyson
A lot of first-love relationships do not stand the test of time, but perhaps many will agree that heartaches are worth bearing if only because they allow you to revel in the wonder of true love.
It is common, though not always alarming, for guys to think about their first love. Some do so simply out of nostalgia and amusement, while others pine for their lost love and wish to be given another chance to make things right.