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He Said I Love You After a Month: What to Do?

Sophie Simons
January 26, 2024

So you’ve been dating a guy for a month, maybe even less, and he blurts it out. Those three words take a casual dating situation to something much more serious. He says, “I love you.” Now, before you start scrolling social media and digging too deep into the subject, let’s take a step back for a minute.

Men date and approach courtship much differently than women. There are biological urges that are coming into play. The worst thing that you can do is to immediately assume that it’s something nefarious or there’s some dark psychology stuff going on. 

Is it normal for him to say I love you after just one month, or is it too soon?

There is no such thing as a set or normal time for confessing love; when it happens, it happens. A research study on the subject that analyzed 6 different studies on how men and women communicate commitment in relationships, here are some key takeaways:

  • Women tend to wait about 2 to 3 months before confessing their love. The reason is that they don’t want to make their love interest feel rushed or pressured.
  • Men tend to confess in about a month or sooner.
  • The average for men to confess their love was 97 days, while women were at 138 days.
  • An interesting insight revealed that men found more happiness in a relationship when they confessed their love before sexual intimacy, while women were the opposite, preferring it after physical intimacy.

What this research reveals is that while there is a difference in confessing love for men and women, it’s not a big difference, and it seems to be normal for many relationships. So don’t worry if he tells you that he’s in love after a month, it’s natural.

Can men fall in love in one month?

The issue of what is love can be deeply confusing. After all, some guys will say just about anything to get what they want. A research study on sexual selection showed that women prefer a man who has a good sense of humor. The study also revealed that when men are in love, they tend to tell more jokes and make a better effort at making their love interest laugh.

Humor seems to be related to sexual prowess, and it is something that men are meant to cultivate and is sought after by women. The study couldn’t really define why this was the case and chalked it up to developmental bias. The key takeaway is that the funnier a guy tries to be, the more that he genuinely likes you.

If you combine this with the previous research of men falling in love in about a month, then your guy telling you corny jokes to get a laugh out of you means he is in love. So, yes, men can fall in love after a month. One important thing to note is that younger men tend to fall in love faster than older men.

Why men fall in love faster than women

Falling in love is a highly researched subject, and who falls in love faster? A study of 172 college students showed that men not only fall in love earlier but also profess it much earlier than women.  This study goes against common misconceptions about women being overly emotional and quick to love.

Those same students were also asked who they perceived as falling in love first, and the majority believed that women do. The reasoning behind this is probably cultural and not rooted in much scientific study at the time. 

Now, some people believe that men fall in love faster because of their pragmatic nature; others have different theories. Some psychologists think that men fall in love faster as a means of “claiming territory”. Whatever the reason, him saying “I love you” early on may just be biological and nothing to worry about.

Can you really love someone after one month?

Yes, now the research previously mentioned does show that men tend to fall in love after about a month and women a couple of months, but those are just averages. When looking at research and reading the numbers, don’t take them as something absolute; there are outliers. The important thing to note is that men and women express and experience love differently from each other.

It is completely possible for a woman to fall in love in less than a month and for a man to take a couple of months before he pops those big three words. Just go with the flow of the relationship.

Is saying I love you after a month a red flag?

Typically, no, but use your gut instinct and look out for warning signs. A guy “love bombing” you for a week straight and telling you he loves you might be a bit off, but simply confessing love after a month of normal courtship seems to be normal. Again, it’s important to go with the flow of your relationship and feel things out as they happen. 

All the research indicates that men confessing their love after a month or two is normal and not nefarious. Efforts to get you to laugh and wanting to know more about you all of these are positive signs that your man is starting to fall for you. Again, use your instincts; if what he’s doing feels off or manipulative, then do what you have to do.

Conclusion

A man confessing his love early can make a woman feel like it’s too soon or that he has other plans, but that’s not the case. Men are wired differently and will fall in love much faster than women. Are you worried if his love is genuine? Well, if he’s making an effort to get you to laugh, that’s a great sign. It typically means that the love he feels for you is genuine, and your relationship is off to a great start.

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Sophie Simons

Sophie Simons is a leading psychologist with a passion for enriching relationships. Through empathetic counseling and insightful guidance, she empowers couples and individuals to foster deeper connections, resolve conflicts, and create lasting harmony. Sophie's expertise in relationship advice has touched countless lives, making her a trusted source for building fulfilling partnerships.

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