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He Won’t Say I Love You After 2 Years: What To Do?

David Wilson
March 7, 2024

Two years of waiting, but love’s worth the patience, right? If those three little words haven’t crossed your partner’s lips yet, don’t hit the panic button. Discover the why, fix the how, and keep the love alive without losing yourself in the process.

“I love you” is not just a phrase, but a powerful sense of affection that connects two people together. Regardless of the language used to say it, “I love you” is still a crucial declaration of love in a contemporary romantic relationship.

In general, women are viewed as being more emotionally expressive than men. However, a study by Abertay University in Dundee revealed something interesting. You’ll be surprised to know that guys are more prone to saying “I love you” first, and men tend to fall in love faster than women.

So, why does this painful issue arise in your healthy relationship anyway? Your partner might find it challenging to communicate their love for various reasons. But that surely doesn’t mean they love you. Perhaps they find it difficult to say “I love you” or prefer to express it in other ways until they truly mean it. 

According to an International Journal of Intercultural Relations study, just 18.8% of males and 37.7% of women reported telling their partner, “I love you,” regularly

When you turn to your pals for advice, they might just say, “Dump him!” But hold up–before you do anything drastic, let’s take a look at why your partner might be struggling to say these 3 magical words.

Is it normal not to say I love you after 2 years?

Everyone has a different way of expressing their emotions verbally. How much you desire your partner to reciprocate those feelings can often dictate the situation.

Does he compliment you when you wear something nice? Does he listen attentively when you share about your day? Does he envision a future with you? Or does he simply keep asking for more beer, or when will the dinner be ready?

In romantic relationships, your partner’s actions do matter. If they consistently demonstrate affection, care, and a willingness to fully invest in the relationship, it’s a sign that he loves you.

However, there may be underlying reasons, such as TROUBLED CHILDHOOD, that make it difficult for him to express love openly.

If your boyfriend hasn’t dropped the L-bomb after 2 years, it’s time for a heart-to-heart. Let them know their behavior is unhealthy for the relationship and is causing pain. Listen to their side too. Give him some time, and trust your instincts. In the end, it’s your call. 

If a verbal declaration is not important, then you’ll be fine in such relationships. You’d rather feel loved through actions that matter to you. But if you’re not happy, you are free to walk. Remember, saying “I love you” should not be a habit but a genuine emotion that comes from the heart. You deserve love that’s loud and clear.

Reasons Why Your Partner Doesn’t Say I Love You

Hurt From Previous Love

Your partner might hold back from saying “I love you” because of past relationship struggles, like painful breakups or feeling misunderstood. They’re likely playing it safe to avoid getting hurt again. 

Troubled Childhood

It’s a fact: our past influences how we act in the future. Someone who endured abuse from their parents and never felt the love they needed might be cautious in relationships. They might struggle to reciprocate the love they receive from you because they never experienced it themselves.

Needs More Time

Your partner might just be too scared to admit his feelings. He might not be ready for a serious commitment yet and needs more time to figure out if he sees a future with you. It’s okay to give him space to work through his emotions and decide what he wants.

You’re in Love with an Introvert

Introverted guys often struggle to verbalize their feelings, but as they spend more time with you and trust develops, they may eventually express their love in their own shy manner.

He Might Be Saying It Differently

You can say “I love you” in many ways without actually saying it. Like reminding someone to drive safely, to wear a jacket in the cold, or to give you a call once they’re home. These kinds of actions depict that your partner IS genuinely in love with you but has a different style of saying it. Instead of saying “I love you”, you can come up with your own personal cute phrases that share the same meaning as “I love you”.

They Don’t Love You

If your partner doesn’t say I love you even after two years, chances are they’re sociopaths. They are emotionally disconnected and can never feel love like you do. Don’t waste time trying to change someone’s feelings or hoping they’ll eventually love you back.

If a relationship doesn’t make you feel secure or valued, it’s not worth sticking around. Trust your gut, prioritize your own happiness, and don’t settle for someone who can’t give you the love you deserve.

Effects of not saying I love you

It is essential to verbally express love in a relationship. Being consistently nurtured and maintained is an attachment that develops when someone is loved. In actuality, it not only confirms feelings but also gives them the impression that you are important to them. It’s commonly believed that falling in love is simple, but staying in love is harder.

This loss of verbal expression of love can hurt the relationship as it can make you start feeling that your partner has lost interest in you. This, in turn, starts making you feel insecure about yourself physically and emotionally, which not just affects your relationship but also your work and other spheres of life. 

This insecurity then grows into a loss of trust in your partner as you start feeling that maybe they’re now interested in someone else.

Not just this, you start feeling that you are the only one who is investing her emotions in the relationship. This might not get noticed by the guy initially as men are bad at understanding such things and by the time they realize maybe it gets very late to mend anything. 

This loss of expression of love can also lead to uncertainty about the future and difficulty communicating vulnerabilities, which again hurt the relationship as well as the mental health of both partners in the long run.

Things to do

Here are some things you can do in your long-term relationship if you feel that your partner does not say, ‘I love you.’

 ● Communicate openly – A healthy relationship relies on open communication. If you think that your partner often holds back his affection towards you, express that to him and tell him what you want. Maybe he doesn’t know how much this little thing means to you. So speak with him frankly and try to make him feel more secure around you.

Listen actively – It is also possible your partner feels he is not heard in the relationship. Maybe he is going through something in his work sector or maybe he is disturbed in some other spheres of life. Make him feel you are by his side no matter what. This will help him express himself more openly.

● Explore underlying issues – Try to figure out the real cause behind this sudden change. Try sitting down together and talking things out to find the real flaw in the relationship.

Seek professional help if needed – If you still feel things aren’t working out, you can try seeing a counselor or even going for couples therapy. Sometimes, we need an expert Guide to sort out such problems.

Self-care – Every relationship needs self-care. You will enjoy a happy and healthy relationship when you feel content inside. Sometimes, cleaning up your clutter could help make life seem clearer, even for relationships

Just remember, every relationship is unique, and not everything said in this article might work for your relationship. Try talking to your partner and understanding his perspective. Maybe this loss of “I love you” is nothing but just an overworked partner, going through a bad time.


It all comes down to how long you’re willing to wait in a relationship like this or how much you yearn to hear those three little words from your partner. If you have been together for two years or more and those words never crossed their lips, it’s essential to dig deeper and understand why.

Sit down with your significant other and have a meaningful chat with them. Let them know that their actions, or lack thereof, are troubling you, and you deserve to hear their “I love you” the same way you do. They might be dealing with personal struggles, but it’s crucial to communicate openly or consult a therapist if needed.

No matter the reasons, trust yourself and prioritize your own happiness. If they’re unable to say “I love you” or express it in any other way – just leave them and move on for the better.

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David Wilson

David Wilson

David Wilson is a skilled clinical psychologist dedicated to enhancing lives through healing and growth. Specializing in empowering clients to overcome challenges, he offers personalized therapy that fosters emotional well-being and resilience. With a compassionate approach, David guides individuals on their journey to discover self-awareness, develop coping strategies, and find lasting happiness. Trusted and revered, he is committed to making a positive impact and nurturing positive change in every life he touches.

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