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How To Comfort Someone Over Text [24 Things To Say]

Sophie Simons
March 7, 2024

It’s our nature to offer sympathy and support for someone going through tough times. In this day and age, when technology has immersed itself into practically every aspect of our lives, offering comfort to friends and loved ones has never been easier. All it takes are some thoughtfully constructed sentences and perfect timing.

Offer comfort to a friend or loved one via text by being sensitive, sincere, and compassionate. Let them know you’re there for them, and you’re willing to navigate tricky life situations with them. Life can sometimes be perplexing, and it is so comforting to know we are never really alone.

In this article, you’ll come across various ways to convey your support to someone going through tough times. Whether a friend or loved one is feeling sad, lonely, or anxious, it’s crucial to let them know you’re someone they can lean on. Moreover, if someone has just lost a loved one or is going through a breakup, empathize with them and show them how much you care.

Things To Say To Calm Someone Down Over Text

The words “calm down” may naturally come to mind when someone is anxious, stressed, or furious. However, do they always bring about the desired effect? 

Sometimes, texting “calm” down to someone upset may make them get defensive. They might think you’re invalidating their feelings or perhaps assume you’re implying they’re overreacting. Other times, these words may make the person feel attacked, making the situation even worse. 

If you find yourself in such a predicament where you absolutely need to reach out to someone in an attempt to calm them down, check out these suggestions:

1. “I understand why this upsets you.”

Empathy is one of the most powerful strategies you can utilize in tricky situations. These words convey that you’re validating their feelings. There is less risk that they’ll feel even more upset with you and with the situation itself. 

However, make an effort to never follow this up with a call to action — to move on or make light of the situation. Doing so will undo the effect of your first statement, making it seem as if you’re dismissing their feelings.

2. “I need to take a quick break from this — I can’t think clearly when things are intense.”

This message will be useful when you’re stuck in a spirited altercation with someone. Such a statement circumvents pointing fingers and keeps the other person from feeling attacked and going on the defensive. It simply conveys how you feel and what you’d like to happen next in this situation. 

The neutral, non-aggressive stance of this message may encourage the other person to take a breather as well and let things slow down a bit. 

3. “I know this issue is a non-negotiable for you, so I think it’s reasonable for you to be this upset about it.”

Reverse psychology is a persuasion strategy where you seemingly support a particular behavior or reaction when, in reality, you’re rooting for the complete opposite. It may be effective in the way that it stealthily pushes the other person to do what you want. 

Sending this text message to someone may make them stop, reevaluate their situation, and begin thinking about a better course of action for the given situation. Rather than telling them exactly what to do, sometimes you’d be better off using reverse psychology so there would be less risk of conflict and resistance. 

4. “How can I help?”

Imagine the last time you found yourself caught in a difficult situation where things just seemed too big to handle alone. Wouldn’t you have appreciated help from someone? Don’t let a friend or loved one go through this same situation alone — offer help as soon as you can. 

These 4 simple words convey the message that they’re not alone, and you’re there to lend them a hand. It’s crucial that you’re sensitive to how they react to your offer because your succeeding actions may indeed help them calm down, or you may run the risk of fuelling their anxiety and stress even more. 

5. “I’ve been in this situation before and if I were you, I would –”

Sometimes, hearing another person’s perspective can do wonders in calming someone down. It sends the message that they aren’t isolated and that this situation is something other people have gone through and emerged from unscathed.

Make sure that your relationship with this person is comfortable enough that it doesn’t seem strange or intrusive for you to extend pieces of advice. Otherwise, the other person may feel affronted, and your efforts to calm them down may backfire. 

Ways To Text Someone To Cheer Them Up 

These days, even if you’re oceans away from a friend or loved one, you can easily show you care, especially in times of need, through a simple text message. If someone is going through a breakup, has experienced a loss, or is simply feeling down, crafting the perfect message to cheer them up can spell the difference between a frown and a smile. 

Here are some unique ways you can cheer someone up over text:

1. “Remember the time when we –”

Reminiscing the good old days is one surefire way to cheer someone up, as long as you make sure the scenario you’re referring to evokes fond memories. This could quickly bring a smile to someone’s face, and being able to somehow relive the experience may make them feel lighter, happier, and more relaxed than they initially were. 

2. “Check this out –!”

Nothing brings out the chuckles more than a great joke. These days, with the popularity of memes and funny skits online, you can easily find one that would truly resonate in any given scenario. Brighten up someone’s day by sending something amusing via text.

3. “You’ve always been there for me during tough times. It’s my turn now — I’ll be your clown for the day!”

Clowns are known for being comically clumsy, preposterous, and silly. If a friend or loved one is going through a particularly rough day, why not volunteer to be their clown for the day? The text message alone can probably elicit chuckles already. Following it up with the real deal will certainly lift their spirits.

4. “Sing it with me –!”

Songs can have a powerful effect on someone’s mood. Just the first few lines of a melancholy song can make you feel instantly forlorn, while the reverse effect can be expected from a cheerful song. Why not send someone an uplifting song to cheer them up?

You can send pertinent lyrics through text and the entire song through a video message. Either way, the words and the melody may positively impact their mood, bring a smile to their face, and help make them feel lighter and more cheerful.

5. “I wish I could be with you right now.”

Anyone who receives such a message will instantly feel less lonely. If distance is the greatest barrier between you and a friend or loved one in need of cheering up, sending this text message will let them know you’re still there for them whenever they need you. Follow up this message with a phone call, and you’ll be sure to instantly put a smile on their face.

Things To Say To Comfort Someone Who Feels Lonely and Sad

A person who feels lonely and sad may be suffering in silence, clueless about how they can overcome this enormous hurdle. Loneliness is a tough battle to fight alone, and social interaction is perhaps the best way to combat this.

Show them they matter to you by being the first to reach out. Consider sending any of these text messages to let them know you treasure their company:

1. “I miss you.”

Someone who feels lonely might also be feeling lost and alone. Offer company without sounding pushy by telling the person that you miss them. This sends the message that you would like to spend some time with them without putting them on the spot or actually asking for their commitment.

2. “Is it okay if I come over?” / “How about if we get some coffee?”

Sometimes, a person who feels lonely or sad doesn’t want to impose, may be feeling hesitant about making the first move, or could be worried about being turned down. Relieve them of these stressors by making the first move and offering your company.

Things To Say To Comfort Someone Anxious

Anxiety is a general feeling of restlessness, tension, fear, and dread. A lot of people go through this, some more than others, especially when facing difficult life situations and decisions. Some quickly overcome it after a transient period of difficulty sleeping, irritability, or persistent abdominal aches. 

On the other hand, others go through a lengthier period of anxiety, where they constantly deal with panic disorders, rapid heartbeat, difficulty breathing, and even behavioral changes.

Sending a sincere text message to comfort an anxious friend or loved one is a great way to show your support and care. Here are some ideas:

1. “Sending you the biggest, tightest virtual hug — so you know how much you really mean to me!”

Sometimes, you can’t rush to someone’s side when they’re going through some difficulties in life, but this doesn’t mean you can’t let them know how much you care for them. This text message will make them feel loved and cared for, no matter the distance between the two of you. 

2. “Hang in there. I know things seem bleak now, but I promise you, things will get better. I went through some really tough times, too. Remember?”

If the person going through tough times is someone who was there for you when you were battling anxiety in the past, this is the perfect text message to send them. Remind them about how you were able to overcome life’s difficulties with their help. Then, offer the same support so they don’t feel alone during this challenging phase.

3. “Whenever you feel down and need someone strong to pick you up, just look in the mirror. You’re the toughest person I know. You got this!”

Even the strongest people can sometimes buckle. Extend a helping hand by reminding them how resilient they truly are. At times, all it takes is a little stimulation and inspiration to guide someone out of the dark.

4. “I’m on your side — always remember that. We’ve got this!”

An anxious person might feel like they’re all alone — they might actually be harboring a “me vs. the world” mentality. A simple reminder that they have someone always rooting for them is a great way to boost their spirits. 

Keep in touch with them, whether via text or through phone calls, so they know you aren’t just making empty promises. If they need to vent, make sure you’re available to actively listen to what they have to share. 

Things To Say To Comfort Someone Who Suffered a Loss 

The loss of a loved one is perhaps one of the toughest, terribly heartbreaking, and most life-altering ordeals. If someone you care about is going through this difficult time, it’s best to extend your love and support, even through a simple text message.

1. “I love you.”

You don’t have to say much to comfort someone who lost a loved one. No amount of words could really make them feel better. Sometimes, telling them you love them is the simplest, most impactful way to show them you’re with them during this most difficult time.

2. “I’m here. Just reach out if you need someone with you, and I’ll be there in a jiffy.”

People who have lost a loved one might sometimes prefer to be alone, especially at the start while they’re still processing overwhelming emotions. However, when the clouds clear a bit, they might need someone they can lean on as they navigate this tricky phase in their life. 

Allow them enough time and space to grieve but make sure your subtle presence is a constant reminder that you’re eager to lend a helping hand. Knowing they’re not alone will give them strength and help push them onward.

3. “I’ll always remember him as …”

Share a funny anecdote or a particularly amusing event. By sharing a special, cherished memory of the departed, you’re offering your friend or loved one a peek into some of the other aspects of the deceased’s life. They will surely find comfort in this because memories are now their best weapons in navigating this new and difficult phase. 

This is a great way to honor the deceased’s memory and offer solace to those they’ve left behind. 

4. “What do you need? Do you need help with something?”

Sometimes, practicality is the best form of support you can offer to someone grieving. Daily, mundane tasks tend to be overlooked as a person goes through the toughest of times. 

Ask them if they need food — maybe they’ve unintentionally skipped a meal or two. Ask them if there’s a specific task they need help with — forms to be accomplished, calls to be made, or things to be bought. 

You can also just send unsolicited help to make their burden lighter. Send food, coffee, or flowers. Appear at their doorstep and make yourself available for even the simplest of tasks.  

Things To Say To Comfort Someone Who Broke Up

A breakup is one tough ordeal to get over. Never let a friend or loved one go through it alone. Remind them that although some people might turn out to be just a fleeting presence in their lives, you’re here to stay. 

Empathize with them through these text messages:

1. “Let’s hang out! What do you want to do?”

Give your friend the option to choose what you’ll do together. Give in to their whims, whether they prefer to chat over coffee, go clubbing, or simply hang out at home. 

However, make sure not to pry or force any information out of them. Give them the time and space necessary to truly heal from this painful experience. They’ll open up to you when they’re ready.

2. “Are you ready to talk?”

Sometimes, a person needs a gentle nudge to feel brave enough to tell all. Other times, they’re simply not ready to reveal their weak points. 

When a person is going through a breakup, be gracious and sensitive enough to allow them to dictate the pace of their own recovery. Never pressure them into sharing their story and details of the failed relationship. Don’t voice out your opinions just yet (whether or not you liked their ex or you’re happy about this development or feel sad about it) because they may still be in an extremely vulnerable state. 

3. “I’m just here.”

A simple, comforting message such as this means a lot to someone who may be feeling alone, rejected, and unwanted. Let your friend or loved one know they’re loved and are not alone. Knowing you’re on their side may give them the courage they need to gain back their confidence. 

4. “Let’s be sad together.”

Empathy and companionship will go a long way and may be the best gifts you can give to someone going through a breakup. Your friend or loved one may simply need another person with whom they can pour out their heart.

Be the kind of friend they need at this critical time. Lend your ear, be a shoulder to cry on, and make sure you validate their feelings. Never trivialize or discredit their emotions and avoid telling them cliche statements, such as “You’re better off without your ex” or “He/She wasn’t right for you anyway.” It would be best to leave these for later when your friend is in a much more stable state of mind. 

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Sophie Simons

Sophie Simons

Sophie Simons is a leading psychologist with a passion for enriching relationships. Through empathetic counseling and insightful guidance, she empowers couples and individuals to foster deeper connections, resolve conflicts, and create lasting harmony. Sophie's expertise in relationship advice has touched countless lives, making her a trusted source for building fulfilling partnerships.

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