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How To Be a Better Lover: 11 Strategies You Must Try

Sophie Simons
January 14, 2024

Marriage entails special hard work and dedication. If you want to become a better partner or lover, taking crucial steps and showing gratitude towards him/her is crucial. 

And you’ll be amazed to know that research revealed how good partner responsiveness impacts the quality of sleep and lower depression and anxiety.

This indicates how important it is to be a wonderful lover and treat your partner the same.

Maintaining a powerful bond and trying to prevent it from shattering is the base of a strong relationship. Healthy relationships generally share characteristics like honesty, communication, loyalty, and respect.

As you’re here searching for how you can be a better partner, it depicts that you’re already a better husband or wife than you think.

But still, there’s so much more that everyone should need to follow when it comes to having a smooth and fun-packed relationship. 

So, “What can you do to be a little better?” Grab your cup of coffee, and stay along to explore the tiny steps you can take to enhance your skills as a partner!

11 Fool-Proof Tips That Make You An Ideal Partner

Husband and wife are like the “clothes of each other,” which is very beautiful if we understand. In a healthy relationship, both partners must be supportive and open to understanding.

When the partner is supportive, he will encourage and listen to you actively — creating a sense that he wants you and loves you to the moon and back

Not only this, but there are many other qualities that make a lover a “better one.”

In a nutshell, being a good soulmate is more than learning bedroom techniques; it is a broader concept instead. There’s no competition, ill intent, or sense of jealousy either.

Are you excited to be a perfect buddy? Let’s begin with our list of top-notch tips!

1. Set Your Goals Together

People with specific goals always become successful because they already know which road they’re taking and where they are gonna reach.

Do you not spend time setting new adventurous goals with your partner? Unfortunately, you’re missing out on a lot of thrills in your life!

To ensure that you both remain on the same path, it is crucial to set goals together.

The cherry on top is that shared goals are a perfect way to boost commitment, unity, mutual celebration, and building trust.

This will keep your relationship’s spark alive in the long run. When you set goals, your partner will know that you’re excited to spend your whole life with him/her.

Otherwise, it’ll leave them in doubt that you’re not planning your future with that person.

2. Spare Valuable Time For Your Relationship

Giving time to your partner is important for several reasons — be it success or satisfaction in the relationship at the forefront.

Spending time together provides you with the opportunity to share your thoughts, feelings, and perspectives with the other person, which ultimately allows them to support each other in difficult times. 

According to research, women are likely to be inspired by their lover’s emotional reactions, which signifies that your wife always needs valuable time and support.

No matter how hectic or busy your schedule is, make up some time for beautiful little things (especially if you’re the hubby), like candlelight dinners, movies, or late-night talks.

It’ll not only make your bond stronger, but you’ll be able to overcome so much hassle and challenges this way. 

See, time is precious, and so your wife or husband is. So, don’t think of saving your time by ignoring your partner. 

Once the time is gone, it’s gone. Use it wisely, and see the magic!

3. Always Be There For Your Partner

You can catch your lover’s attention by doing little effort and things. Believe me, every action matters when you have the right person associated deeply with you.

When they win, act more happy and excited than your partner. 

Bring gifts and celebrate your special person’s success. It will make them realize that you care and will stay forever (no matter what happens).

In addition, you must give proper attention, especially when they have a discussion on intimation. Don’t be engaged in your phone when she or he is talking! 

Most importantly, show love not only through words but actions.

It may take a few seconds to hold hands, talk sweetly, listen with care, and hug your partner, but it surely has prolonged positive impacts on your married life journey and years of togetherness. 

4. Make Lovely Memories Together

Are you realizing that your relationship lacks special moments and excitement? You’re trying, but it’s becoming difficult for you to decide how you can make good memories.

Well, you can consider an all-inclusive solution — planning vacations with your partner.

Believe me, nothing else can help in this situation than going out to a perfect destination to capture beautiful memories with your camera.

Can’t plan vacations? No worries! Go on a small date in a nearby restaurant once a week (even if you’re married) and keep everything sorted and settled. 

Every new memory matters and it is as important for you to add sparkle to your story of a married journey as eating, doing jobs, and exercising.

So, get ready to be the perfect definition of the “ideal lover” by making every moment special!

5. Know The Art Of Healthy Communication

Communication acts as a lifeblood in interpersonal relationships or partnerships. There’s no doubt that it is a bridge between clarity and confusion.

And being a perfect buddy, you don’t want to leave that person confused. Right? 

With effective communication, you can solve many conflicts without unnecessary exaggeration; don’t hesitate to compromise when possible. 

Avoid blaming your partner in every matter, and make use of “I” statements more often to express your perspectives, emotions, and feelings in a kind manner. 

On top of that, it’s essential to speak honestly, as this is the KEY. Moreover, your conversations should not lack depth, so everything is pretty clear and straight.

Be open to value their genuine feelings and perspective!

6. Don’t Feel Shy In Appreciating Your Lover

It is a bitter reality that appreciation is often overlooked and ignored in a relationship. But you know what? This can actually make a huge difference.

Let your partner know what you love about them the most — whether it be their kindness, eyes, affection, or the way they smile and deal with daily households or jobs.

Literally, a little “thank you” note can make their whole day. Little things matter!

Remember that relationships can go on the worst side if you keep counting what you do for him or her and never consider their struggles.

If you keep doing this, you can only become a so-called irritating partner and a perfect one. So, make sure that you don’t shy when it comes to appreciation.

The way to develop the best out of a person is through encouragement, appreciation, and care.

7. Stop Stressing Over Small Things

If you stress over every small thing, you won’t be able to treat your partner well, which will eventually make things really ugly and unacceptable. 

Taking care of your mental as well as physical health must be your priority. 

A study revealed that stress can promote negative interactions between couples and decrease the functionality of a relationship very quickly. 

To keep things on the right track, it’s better to adopt some amazing things, like eating well, exercising, reading books, and following your hobbies. 

Always ensure that you feel the best way and so your spouse will. Not only this, but it will boost your confidence to a great extent.

Keep in mind that self-consciousness and nervousness in different matters, like in the bedroom, aren’t a big deal. And you only need to learn how to concentrate on your soulmate.

You can also talk to a psychiatrist to help you overcome your anxiety in case nothing works.

8. Learn To Be More Selfless

Selfishness can never make a relationship work, seriously! It is not even legal to do so, as it terribly breaks the other person inside out. 

An ideal partner should definitely have the attribute of being selfless in most matters.

Try to keep your ego aside and keep a soft corner in your heart for your partner. The key to being a cooperative and fantastic soulmate is undeniably selflessness.

Although it doesn’t mean that you will compromise on everything and ignore your needs and wants, it is just that your lover’s wants should come first.

Especially in the bedroom, don’t think of only your pleasure. Your partner can become really resentful if you solely consider your desires.

Just make sure that you are kind enough to prioritize your lifeline!

9. Setting Boundaries Is Important

While it is good to have an open mindset, that does not really mean that you can do anything. You both need to have limitations and say no to things you dislike.

Especially when you attempt to communicate smoothly about matters like intimacy, you need not cross limits. Conversation on these aspects is usually overlooked, but they shouldn’t be.

If you don’t discuss these boundaries, you will end up hurting yourself and your soulmate.

All in all, talking openly about your rules will make both partners live happily and feel safe without having differences.

Good and healthy boundaries lead to emotional well-being and a happy relationship that lasts.

10. Pay Heed To Their Overall Body Language

Well, paying attention to your partner’s body language must be taken into consideration. In fact, non-verbal cues can easily convey desires, feelings, and even unspoken concerns.

To stand out in the list of someone who has the characteristics of a better lover, it is important for you to be familiar with what makes your soulmate tick both emotionally and physically. 

Do they like being kissed right on the forehead? Let it happen this way! And does it make them turn on whenever you say dirty things? Just go for it, no matter what. 

Furthermore, know that understanding physical factors is the key to a successful relationship.

Improving your sex life also begins with a smooth connection. Make sure that you go the extra mile to strengthen your bond, and the rest will naturally come with it.

11. Confront It When You Face Sexual Dysfunction Issue

Do you know that unresolved sexual dysfunction problems can ruin your relationship? And are you familiar with the fact that it can create unspoken tensions and emotional distance?

Surprisingly, around 80% of people have to face problems regarding sexual dysfunction, which is quite unfortunate. Yes, that’s correct!

Sometimes, it’s due to depression and maybe because of feeling disconnected from sexuality.

If you avoid this problem, it is a sure thing that it will lead to a lot of frustration — eventually hindering the potential for a harmonious and satisfying connection. 

As an ideal partner, it should be your foremost responsibility to confront head-on when such issues take place. Stop expecting your husband or wife to fix this problem when they don’t even know it.

You can also seek therapy in this regard to maintain a healthy sexual life and avoid stress or strains during sex.


In this guide, we’ve mentioned the top 11 tips to become a better soulmate and promote a healthy, happy relationship. In a nutshell, learning how to be an ideal lover needs practice, dedication, and patience. 

Plus, you must be willing to grow and learn with your partner through thick and thin. In addition, couples therapy cannot be considered if you’re facing issues in intimacy, expressing emotions, and communication. 

When you express your sentiments nicely, give hand-written letters to your partner, are selfless, feed him/her with gestures of love, and strive to put in every little effort, this is what makes you a complete definition of an ideal lover for sure. 

Most importantly, do not always listen to what people have to say because they experience different things in a unique way, and it’s just their way to deal with it.

So, what are you waiting for? Just try the above tips & tricks, and get ready for the blossoms in your love life. Happy loving!

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Sophie Simons

Sophie Simons

Sophie Simons is a leading psychologist with a passion for enriching relationships. Through empathetic counseling and insightful guidance, she empowers couples and individuals to foster deeper connections, resolve conflicts, and create lasting harmony. Sophie's expertise in relationship advice has touched countless lives, making her a trusted source for building fulfilling partnerships.

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