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Is Love Embarrassing? What Science Says

Sophie Simons
February 20, 2024

If you’re constantly struggling with feelings of embarrassment in your relationship, the first thing to remind yourself is there’s no shame in having these emotions. Once you recognize this is normal, it can be encouraging to realize that you don’t need to wallow in guild over this embarrassment.

At some point, you’ll need to face the reasons for your embarrassment and find the strength to deal with these issues, which can be tough. But if you don’t address the issue, this emotion will continue to plague you and your relationship, hindering you from experiencing true happiness. How do you start the process? Let’s learn.

What Is Embarrassment In A Relationship?

In general terms, embarrassment can be defined as unease, humiliation, indignity, or discomfort that stems from the idea of you doing something unsuitable or improper. It’s a common form of embarrassment, easily recognized. When this continues beyond these parameters to the point it affects you day in and day out, it can become toxic for you and your relationship.

When you start to believe that you’re inadequate or internalize other negative emotions along those lines, it will start to destroy your self-image and value far from reality. You’ll become embarrassed in even the most sedate situations like telling your partner you love them or sharing with family and close friends your newfound happiness.

Dealing with and overcoming embarrassment can be challenging. Discovering your inner emotions and attempting to work through these isn’t easy. Leaving these emotions unchecked can lead to other issues. Here are some concerns with embarrassment in love.

1. Isolating

When you have a strong sense of embarrassment stemming from a skewed perception of yourself, it can easily withdraw you from your partner. It can make being vulnerable in the relationship difficult, sharing fears, secrets, long-term goals or objectives, and even admitting to actually loving the other person.

You might tend to withdraw when things become too intimate with the notion that you’re unworthy of closeness and intimacy. In that same vein, it’s better for you to keep the relationship quiet with close friends and family. It brings anxiety when you consider how others might perceive the relationship.

2. Self-value

When you feel embarrassed about yourself, it’s difficult to feel positive about the partnership. When self-negativity creeps in, it can bring with it:

  • Sadness
  • Anger
  • Shame
  • Low self-esteem
  • Worry
  • Fear

It becomes more challenging to open up to a mate the longer the embarrassment persists. You find it difficult to enjoy the loving and nurturing feelings of a healthy partnership plus just simply be yourself with your mate. When you can’t have these fundamental components of a solid partnership, you will likely develop annoyance, irritability, and a confrontational attitude. 

When an emotional connection grows weak, it can impair the partnership. These sorts of barriers make it challenging to develop healthy boundaries where working through these emotions can actually establish a close bond, allowing the pair to grow as a couple. When individuals can share empathy, disclosures, and patience, they can move past embarrassment.

If you feel embarrassed by something you’ve done to cause upset in the partnership, you might have difficulty being vulnerable to apologize, and you’re uncomfortable. 

The embarrassment has sabotaged you to believe you’re not good enough in what is otherwise a healthy partnership. Some partners have even left relationships rather than deal with uncomfortable emotions. Here are signs that embarrassment is impacting your partnership.

  1. Without doing anything wrong, there’s a sense of inadequacy
  2. Feeling unappreciated and exceptionally sensitive
  3. Distancing from your true self when with your partner
  4. Worry over your partner’s thoughts about you
  5. Fear of being vulnerable in the relationship
  6. Not sharing innermost thoughts and feelings to avoid embarrassment
  7. Unsure of your partner’s true feelings
  8. Afraid that you’ll look inappropriate, stupid, or wrong in front of your mate

How To Deal With Feelings of Embarrassment

The first step in the process is recognizing the misplacement of embarrassment in your situation and realizing that it needs to be dealt with to enjoy a healthy relationship as a priority. Addressing the embarrassment is critical and can be challenging to overcome. In many situations, a professional relationship advocate is integral in helping work through the issues. 

While the experts can be of tremendous benefit, there are many things you can do to also help the process.

  1. Focus on the positive emotions while trying to comprehend the negative feelings you are dealing with and how these impact your personal life and the relationship between you and your partner.
  2. Patience with yourself is a priority as you start to acknowledge where your thought process is skewed. It’s important to find ways to forgive yourself for mistakes you’ve made with your mate and also look for things that have leaned more towards the right path. 
  3. Don’t leave your partner out of this vulnerable process. Allow them to support you as you work through your feelings and challenges. Don’t hide your difficulties. Treat your mate how you would hope to be treated.
  4. Openly admit the embarrassment you feel, why you believe you deal with this, and what it stems from. Talk with someone, whether a relationship advocate or other professional working with you and your mate. Allow yourself to verbalize all that you’ve been harboring and try to find a way to progress forward without being too harsh on yourself.

The pivotal point to overcoming being embarrassed to express your love,  being in love, and letting others in on the fact that you’ve found love and are happy is figuring out why it’s so difficult for you to be vulnerable with the people you love. Too many people allow what can be a fear of appearing weak to wreak havoc on their personal life and that of their partnership.

Conclusion

Instead of incorporating an array of defense mechanisms to excuse the behavior, it would relieve your circumstances to reach out for guidance from a relationship advocate. The professional can help you and your mate work through the underlying reasons for the unsettling emotions so you can move forward healthfully.

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Sophie Simons

Sophie Simons

Sophie Simons is a leading psychologist with a passion for enriching relationships. Through empathetic counseling and insightful guidance, she empowers couples and individuals to foster deeper connections, resolve conflicts, and create lasting harmony. Sophie's expertise in relationship advice has touched countless lives, making her a trusted source for building fulfilling partnerships.

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