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7 Things to Do if She Says She Has a Boyfriend

Sophie Simons
January 3, 2024

It can be torture being attracted to someone who may not feel the same way about you, and even worse when you know they are already in a committed relationship. Many people have difficulty finding out what they should do when faced with unrequited love or feelings that can’t be reciprocated. Thankfully, there are a few options and tips for just what to do for those butterflies in your stomach.

1. Bide your time

There are many reasons why you may think their current relationship may soon end or may not work out. Maybe it’s something in the way they look at you or the connection you have with them. Or, maybe you believe that their current partner isn’t a good match and that you would be much better. You could simply lean back and have your beloved come to you.

However, waiting for your chance with the person you like when they’re in a relationship is not recommended. According to Breaking Hearts, not only does unrequited love have many damaging effects on the one in wait, but the person already in a relationship is often bombarded with expectations and feelings that, more often than not, they don’t want to accept.

Even if you’re willing to wait as long as it takes, that chance may never come, especially if the person you like is already in a committed relationship.

2. Time to accept

If that gal you like is in a relationship and doesn’t seem to be budging soon, then your most rewarding course of action is to accept the situation for what it is. You can’t really force anyone to reciprocate your feelings or to leave their significant other. It would be better to start the process of moving on and understanding that it’s just not in the cards right now.

In fact, research states the perspectives of both the receiver and giver of affection are much more different than you can imagine. If your crush has a boyfriend, she may see you as a friend that she is close with and not as a potential love interest. After all, would you like it if someone liked your girlfriend and was trying to get with her?

3. Dont linger on reminders

For you to get a move on with your life, you may need to stop yourself from getting reminded of her. This means getting rid of or putting away items that may have belonged to her or that depict her, such as photos, mementos, and gifts.

Of course, this can be easier said than done, especially if the person you like is one of your schoolmates or co-workers - situations where you both frequent the same area. In that case, it can be difficult to remove yourself from the situation.

But it would be best to try to keep your distance, especially if their boyfriend could get involved. It was found in studies that the more you’re around someone, the more likely you are to develop an attraction to them that’s strengthened by proximity and familiarity. This means that going no contact can help cool off your feelings for them.

4. Change your perspective

Shifting the way you see your situation could make all the difference in how you resolve the issue. If you have a certain expectation of how your relationship with this girl should go, it could lead to unmet wants and frustrations on your end - definitely, things to avoid if you want a happy life. Perhaps you can try putting yourself in her shoes?

Also, according to researchers, developing or having a good sense of humor can help with coping in difficult situations, especially those wherein love or a desire for a connection isn’t reciprocated. Taking news and rejections gracefully can improve not just the way you deal with your relationships but with life in general.

5. Avoid social media

This one is going to be tough and tricky, but it would be best to avoid checking out her profile on social media apps. Heck, it may be best to steer clear of any social media for a good while if you can help it.

Social media tends to give us an idealized and false impression of how people actually live their lives since we can only see what others want to post. Most people will often seem happier and more fulfilled online, which in turn will make you feel worse for missing out on what others have.

This is also true for unreciprocated love, as a study shows that unrequited love is often less intense than a committed relationship in terms of passion, commitment, and acceptance. Seeing her pictures with other people online while you're hurting would just not be good for your mental health.

6. Meet with other people

Scholars have discussed that unrequited love hurts because the affection we feel and express isn’t being given back to us. So, spend time with friends, go on a trip with co-workers, or plan a day with your family.

Just get out there and live it up! Having more quality time with people you already love and appreciate will not only make you happier overall, but will also reduce the time you take thinking about the girl you like who already has a boyfriend.

Friends and family will be able to comfort you as well as give you their perspectives on the matter. Aside from this, going out with other people can give you opportunities to meet more eligible and available ladies who want to get into a relationship with you.

7. Focus on yourself

Everyone has gone through heartache and emotional pain, especially in the case of pursuing someone who just wasn’t available. This can have some major effects on our psychological and emotional well-being.

When you’re constantly thinking about someone else, you neglect the most important person: yourself! The best way to combat this is to turn inwards. Wasn’t there this interesting hobby you’ve wanted to take up, this cool vacation place you wanted to go to, or this dish from a restaurant you’ve been dying to try?

Self-improvement is essential for us to become better people. And more than a distraction for how you feel, it’s a way for you to start finding out what you really want out of life and your relationships while also treating yourself how you deserve. 

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Sophie Simons

Sophie Simons is a leading psychologist with a passion for enriching relationships. Through empathetic counseling and insightful guidance, she empowers couples and individuals to foster deeper connections, resolve conflicts, and create lasting harmony. Sophie's expertise in relationship advice has touched countless lives, making her a trusted source for building fulfilling partnerships.

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