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How To Break Up With Your Girlfriend Even if You Love Her

Matilda Alvarez
February 7, 2024

Should you break up with your girlfriend even if you love her? Do you ever pause and think to yourself if life could be spent with just love? The word love is exploited way more than it should be. Sure, it is an essentiality, but there are other essentialities too. 

Relationships are like a hotchpotch. They can be saccharinely ravishing like the first bite of an ice cream on a hot sunny day, or they can be bleak like a room plunged into darkness.  They can be wild as a tempest or serene like the morning breeze. They can be dramatic, and they can be tedious. In short, relationships are complicated!

For this rollercoaster ride, a swag of things other than love is essential. Love is essential to a healthy relationship, but many aspects of a relationship need to be covered aside from love. Trust, honesty, respect, affection, and communication are to name a few. 

So, if you find yourself asking yourself if you should break up with your girlfriend even if you love her, you are not being implausible. If you have ended up with such thoughts, you were triggered enough to fall into that pit.

Can you love someone but still want to break up? 

Credibly enough, loving someone but still wanting to break up is possible. If holding on to love is hard, letting go doesn't mean you never loved. Love should be the basis for getting into a relationship, but love has its limit to being the fuel of the engine. Relationships devoid of many factors eventually turn toxic over time. Reasons that could trigger your heart into thinking of a breakup could be

Major trust issues

You always find yourself being picked up wrongly on your girlfriend’s radar. You are loyal to her, but she doesn’t trust you no matter how much you reassure her. Her lack of trust has made her far too controlling. 

Verbal or physical abusive

She is potently dominating, but what’s the deal-breaker is her abusive nature. She is verbally abusive and hurls harsh, indecent words at you. Or she is physically abusive, and her anger makes her cross the line from time to time.

Ignorance to love language

You are never on her list of priorities, and there is always a more imperative matter demanding her time or attention. It could be her work or her social life. She fails to understand your love language and provides you with neither love nor care.

Self-victimization

She is prone to self-victimization and plays the reverse card on you every time you try to resolve issues. Instead of finding her flaws and mending them, she holds you as the culprit. She is always on the run of manipulating you.

Infidelity and cheating

Cheating is one of the most dangerous red flags. Anyone who can cheat once can cheat countless times.

You have found her cheating on you. She claims to love you and expects you to forgive her impulsive nature. 

5 Steps to Break up With Your Girlfriend

Breaking up is like taking down a gigantic monster. You are bound to get hurt, and if your partner loves you, it would be an agony for them too. Since it is going to be a major life-altering and mind-boggling decision, it should be handled with care.  There is a saying, “The cold water doesn’t get warmer if you jump late.” Do not keep stalling the decision. Here are ways you can break up with your girlfriend.

1. Arrange an in-person meetup

Try not to break up via a text message or a video call. It might be hard to break up with someone you love in person, but it is best to avoid ambiguity, be respectful, and give proper closure to your girlfriend.

2. Do not start the blame game

Whatever the reasons for breaking up may be, do not put all the blame on your girlfriend’s shoulder. Own your mistakes, too. This would either make her stringently resentful of you or would push her into hate for herself. 

3. Be honest but soft

Share your side of the story with her and tell her why you both are not working out. Make her understand that instead of getting hurt, it's wise to end things earlier instead of prolonging them. 

4. Let her vent

You could get any reaction bordering from intense anger to downright breakdown. Give her the time and space to vent her feelings. Lend your ears and let her express.

5. Reassure her

Try taking an effective and honest approach. Tell her that it's better to end things early rather than constantly getting hurt. Reassure her that you both would get over the hurt eventually and that she would soon find the right match for herself.

5 Ways to Avoid Break-up Regret

After a breakup, the raw pain catches onto us. But if you are hurting does not mean you made a wrong decision, it just means that you cared and loved deeply enough to be hurt this badly.

1. Do not feel guilty

When the hurt keeps striking your heart, and somehow you are aware your girlfriend is hurting too, you would find yourself guilty for creating such a mess or for being inconsiderate towards your girlfriend’s feelings. Remind yourself you were not selfish.

Who sets the standards of selfishness and selflessness? Surely, there was never a revelation from the skies that defined such protocols and sensitivities.

2. Focus on the brighter side

The decision you took was in the best interests of you and your girlfriend. It might hurt now but somewhere in the future, you both will find complimenting partners. You would look back then and be proud of your resolve.

3. Make yourself believe better days will come

Wounds always dull with time no matter how deep, so just let it pass. That is why humans survive even after suffering through the biggest tragedies. Just keep yourself afloat.

4. Confide in your closest friend

Talk to a close friend and let them know you are hurting. Hiding wounds do not make them better. The more you would thrust yourself into an isolated enclosure, the more regret you would feel.

5. Be remindful

Remind yourself of the negative points that made you break up. This would keep a scaffold on your heart and make you practice self-love.

Conclusion

If the heart is not in sync with your mind, you will never find peace in love. Love is essential, but peace takes the upper hand. It's better to end things early rather than constantly hurting yourself and your partner. 

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Matilda Alvarez

I am a professional writer and editor based in Melbourne, Australia. I am a researcher in the environmental sciences and have a passion for the natural world, wellness, and the written word. Through my studies and freelancing career, I have become well-practiced in creating engaging, concise, and digestible prose for readers to enjoy. In my spare time, I enjoy practicing yoga, and meditation, exploring beautiful Australian landscapes, and reading a good book.

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