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Love Hard: What It Is and How It Works

Sophie Simons
December 13, 2023

Loving hard means that the person has an intense love for their partner. While some people consider this stifling or obsessive in some cases, it doesn’t have to be a negative. Your happiness is a priority, and the individual will take exceptional measures to ensure that you have all that you need and want to be comfortable, safe, and loved.

In some cases, that can mean personal sacrifice. In that same vein, you have their utmost respect in every aspect that would typically impact a love relationship. These can include life goals, values and beliefs, and even personal imperfections. 

This is a partner that not only supports your successes as a personal cheerleader and die-hard fan but will alternately be the shoulder when things don’t work out as you hope. These partners help you to believe in yourself when you might have lost your confidence, showing you that life holds great possibilities and you’re capable of immense possibilities.

The person who loves hard doesn’t drain your energy or make you feel as though you’re the only one participating in the relationship. They listen and adore without overwhelming or placing expectations. When obstacles come along, or challenges crop up, someone who loves hard wants to fix it regardless if it might be uncomfortable. They won’t run away or shut down.

What Is Loving Someone Hard And How Does It Work?

When you love someone hard, it’s essentially the same thing as being deeply in love. It’s an intense love, an unconditional sort of love that celebrates the other person in every aspect. That includes their overall outlook on life, their physical and emotional needs, and even their imperfections. 

Deep love is different from a “honeymoon phase” in that the honeymoon is a limited time when the euphoria eventually wanes. Those flaws that were once adorable that you could overlook start to get on your nerves. The life goals you thought you could eventually figure out become a significant barrier.

When you fall deeply in love with someone or love hard, the connection has been established, your bond becomes more meaningful, and you genuinely find ways to compromise through life’s challenges. The objective is to work together to fix the obstacles and not run from the other person. 

How does deep love typically work for those who are lucky enough to find it? Here are a few things that happen when you’re deeply in love. 

1. Optimism is associated with loving hard

An increase in positivity is associated with loving hard or being deeply in love. That means you can focus more on the other’s strengths and less on the imperfections. No one is without flaws, but when you only pay attention to the negative, it leaves little time to appreciate all that’s good about the individual. 

When you love deeply, concentrating on what you love most is something that comes naturally. In the same vein as with the honeymoon phase, you’ll recognize the flaws, but with deep love, you accept the other person and they, you, for who you are. Because you believe in them and their intentions, you have no problem giving them the benefit of the doubt in any situation.

Optimism allows a better approach when obstacles come along, and they will in any relationship. You will just have a more constructive way of dealing with the challenges, less chance of becoming irrational or losing your temper

2. You have a cushion when life gets tough

Not only does life move at a hectic pace, but the stress and challenges people deal with are greater than ever before. When coming home after a bad day, you can be completely deflated whether a work project failed, a friend and you had a falling out, or a loved one fell ill. In these cases, it’s vital to have someone who can cushion these blows and make you feel less isolated.

Your partner will serve as an advocate when you face a storm, someone to stand in your corner, providing solace and serving as that shoulder when you need to let go of the pent-up emotions you can’t release anywhere else.

3. The first thought that comes to mind

Regardless of the situations you find yourself in, when you love hard, the other person is a first thought. You could have the new flavor of hot chocolate at the grand opening of a cafe and immediately consider how much your mate would enjoy this experience. 

Or perhaps you are shopping for a friend’s birthday and come across a great shirt that you know would perfectly accentuate their features. No matter where you find yourself, this person is with you in your thoughts and in your heart until you see them again. 

Despite them not being with you, the first consideration when you’re unsure of how to handle a situation is considering what your partner would do. When you love someone deeply, the solution becomes apparent through the varied experiences you’ve shared.

How Do You Know When You Love Hard?

You’ll know when you love hard because the experience is unlike any you’ve shared before. When considering why things are so unique in this situation, it’s because you deeply love this person. The bond is meaningful. It’s gone beyond what was a crush or infatuation into a blossoming connection.

Loving hard isn’t something that happens repeatedly, nor is it necessarily something that happens for everyone. It’s different from any of your previous relationships, something that doesn’t fade over time but makes you feel even more special as time progresses. 

The relationship is not only wonderful to experience but also powerful to almost step outside of and observe. You’ll know you’ve found someone with whom you can love hard when you can be your authentic self and are accepted for that genuine person. 

And because you deeply love that individual in the same capacity, the fulfillment between you is unlike anything either of you have or ever will enjoy in your lifetime.

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Sophie Simons

Sophie Simons

Sophie Simons is a leading psychologist with a passion for enriching relationships. Through empathetic counseling and insightful guidance, she empowers couples and individuals to foster deeper connections, resolve conflicts, and create lasting harmony. Sophie's expertise in relationship advice has touched countless lives, making her a trusted source for building fulfilling partnerships.

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