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4 Main Signs He Is Fighting His Feelings for You

Matilda Alvarez
February 26, 2024

In a perfect world or at least with an ideal match, each person will tell the other they have feelings, a relationship will ultimately develop and the bond will deepen from that point. Dating, love, and even marriage are not perfect. It takes time and effort, and sometimes, it’s a lot of work to get someone to share real feelings, often to the point of having to decipher clues and hints.

Sometimes, it’s important to be patient if the other person has experienced trauma in past relationships, rejection. Perhaps he has a solid fear of committing even though you believe that he’s fighting feelings that he’s never felt for another girl before. But are you right, or is he genuinely not interested?

When a man is sending confusing vibes, it’s up to you to decide if he’s just scared. You have the option of initiating the first move and just simply asking him, but you don’t want to push him further away. That’s especially true if he is genuinely commitment-phobic. You can try to find out details on why this is the case by talking to close friends or family.

When you know what you’re dealing with, it might be easier to help him deal with his past emotions and move forward with what he’s currently feeling instead of fighting it.

What Are Signs That A Man Is Fighting His Feelings For You?

Ideally, men and women will explore their feelings for each other and decide to date when they find that each is on the same page. But the path to dating and love isn’t always that seamless. Usually, there’s a lot of trying to guess how the other person feels because no one wants to be rejected or someone is afraid to commit, possibly a past trauma.

When you have strong feelings for a man and you genuinely believe he likes you but is fighting those feelings for some reason, it can be frustrating. You don’t know if you’re right or if he’s really not interested. When you’re confused and you believe he’s scared, you need to pay attention to any signs he might be given to tell you that he’s afraid. Here are things to watch for.

1. A traumatic past partnership

Experiences that are troubling cause individuals to avoid the potential for following that same path. A traumatic relationship will lead men to believe that the exact journey is possible with every woman they come in contact with. He doesn’t want to make that mistake again or feel that heartbreak.

If you don’t know anything about his dating life, you could reach out to close friends or family members to find out what might have happened to leave him fighting against feelings that you believe he might have for you. If you find out he’s battling a trauma from his past, it will better prepare you to handle the situation more gently and sensitively.

If your past relationships have been healthy and ended amicably, he’ll recognize the differences from his previous experience. The less aggressive and pushy you are with him, the more he’ll see that you’re nothing like what he’s experienced and stop fighting his feelings.

2. Rejection scares him

When he shows that there are feelings but then pulls back, it could be a sign that he’s afraid that you won’t reciprocate his feelings. It’s a relatively clear sign that he doesn’t want to deal with rejection. Men turn off when they start to feel as though a woman is “friend-zoning” them; that’s the last thing they want to happen.

A guy will fight his feelings and pretend that he doesn’t care if he believes the girl is not interested before he shows affection, only to be rejected. He would prefer to do the rejecting regardless of how he truly feels. The games loop around with each person trying to figure out what the other is thinking and feeling.

All that needs to happen is that someone actually comes forward and tells the other the truth to avoid all the second-guessing. Sure, someone might get hurt if the other person doesn’t feel the same but you can at least deal with your emotions, heal, and move forward more quickly.

3. He’s skeptical 

Sometimes, you can be uncertain whether the individual you’re fighting feelings for is someone you genuinely care deeply for or are merely infatuated or have a crush. If you’re holding back, it can legitimately be because you don’t want to hurt the other person if these are merely fleeting feelings that don’t match hers.

You can’t force something that might not be real. When someone is this indecisive, they need to explore their feelings a little more. That could even mean seeing other people to try to figure out if this is right for him. It’s better to be sure now than to find out down the road that it’s not what he wants after you’ve committed.

4. He’s unreasonably jealous

In the situation where he catches feelings but fights them, like if he were a coworker and finds it inappropriate to date a fellow employee. When you know he has feelings for you but he is constantly sending you mixed messages, you decide to date someone else in the office. Unfortunately, the guy who says he’s uninterested becomes incredibly jealous.

The guy continues to convey that the two of you are just friends. These are clear signs he’s in denial about his true feelings. In this situation, it would be worth a sincere conversation to discuss the company rules, if there are any, about dating fellow staff members, and then let him know how you feel about him so maybe he’ll follow suit.


Dating and love can be complicated, especially when each person is trying to figure out what the other is thinking. When a man is consciously fighting his feelings for you, it’s difficult to bring him through whatever challenge he’s dealing with. The priority is to give him time, be patient, and show him in your own way that you care for him.

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Matilda Alvarez

Matilda Alvarez

I am a professional writer and editor based in Melbourne, Australia. I am a researcher in the environmental sciences and have a passion for the natural world, wellness, and the written word. Through my studies and freelancing career, I have become well-practiced in creating engaging, concise, and digestible prose for readers to enjoy. In my spare time, I enjoy practicing yoga, and meditation, exploring beautiful Australian landscapes, and reading a good book.

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