When you believe your boss might like you but is hiding it, finding out for sure should be prioritized to avoid repercussions from a misunderstanding. When a boss is simply being exceptionally kind or a natural flirt who playfully, harmlessly interacts with everyone it can be embarrassing to say the least if you read into his behavior incorrectly.
In the worst case scenario, the misunderstanding can have repercussions on the job for both you and your boss.
While you can check with other staff members about their take on how the boss might feel toward you, it’s essential to do so carefully to avoid a false rumor being spread and the boss having career consequences from misinterpreted actions.
Looking for clear-cut signs that the boss has developed feelings is a good way to help you figure it out so you can then approach the business leader to discuss the situation privately.
When working closely together every day, people can easily develop feelings even between management and their staff. While many companies frown on people having romantic relationships within the business, it does happen with people hiding their partnerships.
It can have an impact on their career if the business leaders find out about the romantic pairing in some cases. This is part of the reason most people keep their feelings hidden, like a boss for an employee. Still, some signs will readily let you know that your boss is hiding secret romantic feelings for you. Here, you’ll find some relatively sure signals.
In your personal social circle, it’s common when someone has an interest in another person, and they’ll come to other friends to find out details about that individual to learn more about them instead of going to that person directly. It works the same way in the work environment, especially when a boss is trying to keep things hidden and professional.
The manager would go to other staff to find a way to bring the topic around to you to find out your interests, what you do in your personal time, hobbies, and favorite restaurants if the interest was romantic. If the conversation were more directed toward professional objectives and where you wanted to go within the company, the interest would be purely professional.
When your coworkers let you know one way or the other how the conversation goes, you can then determine where you stand with your boss’s feelings and how you should react.
Some people are generally friendly and that includes management. They don’t want to appear that they’re only about work and the office. They want their staff to think of them as a person with a life outside of the office, a friend that they can count on when they need something. This way, staff won’t be afraid to come to them when they have a problem.
Many times, when you go in to discuss a project or a deadline, the conversation might turn personal. The boss could want to know what you did last night or, if you have big plans for the weekend, start a personal conversation. This could be a reason to learn more about you and keep you a little longer or simply make you feel comfortable as an employee.
Maybe this is standard with all your coworkers, too. But if this happens all the time, even if there’s a rush on the job, it could mean there’s more to his feelings than just work.
Managers have moments of stress and pressure when they have a need to talk with someone. In the same way staff avoids venting with their bosses, managers try to keep their issues away from the business leaders. In that vein, they really don’t have anyone to talk about work issues with unless they develop a relationship with someone they can confide in.
If you’ve become a confidante for your boss, someone they share project details or office issues with that they don’t reveal to other employees, it might lead you to believe they have feelings for you. If they’re also venting about non-work problems, you could probably assume the manager is having a personal attachment with you.
If there are no other signs or clues of romantic feelings, it could just be a matter of oversharing with you because you’re an easy person to talk to.
Favoritism is a definite problem in a business environment. Managers are prohibited from displaying this behavior. Each staff member is supposed to receive equal opportunities for openings and advancements within the company and various departments. The boss can still give a heads-up to their best employees when jobs are available.
This allows you to prepare a proposal. If your boss not only continues to offer you advanced notice of openings but also speaks on your behalf as the best candidate for these positions, it could be a personal or romantic attachment. It could also merely be their belief that you are their best employee and they want to see you move forward.
Is this something they do for all their high-quality staff or only for you? That can be telling. If your boss only speaks highly of you for all openings, there could be more than an interest in our professional growth.
How should you react if your boss has feelings for you other than a professional attachment? The company policy will be a primary factor in how the two of you proceed with any romantic feelings. If your boss is hiding feelings because the business prohibits staff from becoming involved, you’ll need to discuss what the repercussions are if you pursue a relationship.
For some companies, a couple will need to be separated into different departments. In extreme circumstances, one will need to find a new job. Each of you will need to decide whether your feelings for each other are strong and can stand the test of time. This is important due to the impact developing a partnership will have on your careers.
Get Started
