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3 Reasons Why It Is Rude To Ask a Woman Her Age

Sophie Simons
March 13, 2024

Women find one of the most frustrating questions to be about her age. This is a lesson that should be taught to guys starting from an early age. Whether messaging on a dating site or having small talk when meeting for the first time, age usually comes up in the conversation. Why is this considered rude?

It’s not necessarily the question, but someone expects a reply with this sensitive information despite only meeting you. Certain things are just not a topic of conversation until really knowing someone like political stance, religion . . . and age. At the very least, it’s improper.

What Are The Reasons It’s Rude To Ask A Woman Her Age?

Unfortunately, in today’s society, the unspoken consensus is that women of an advanced age are less worthy than their younger counterparts. Women are, therefore, either programmed to lie about their age or take a stance and “age gracefully,” something many grapple with as judgments are tough.

If men are lauded for their looks, attributes, and accomplishments as they age and sought for their experience, why is it different for women? Why are men complimented for aging with added sex appeal and grace while women are seen as less desirable? 

These are reasons women are indignant when someone impolitely asks their age with the expectation that she should reply.

Are there times it’s appropriate to pose the question, maybe in an effort to develop a deeper connection. As you grow closer, it’s only natural to get personal. You can gauge her comfortability with answering if she changes the subject. 

Then you’ll know not to ask again but instead, allow her to volunteer her age when she’s ready. Here are some reasons the topic is taboo for many women.

1. Society

In the past, society has placed a lot of emphasis on beauty and youth. The suggestion is that women become less valuable and their attractiveness wanes as age progresses. This can sometimes force females to take every measure, including cosmetic surgery, to maintain their youthful appearance.

When then faced with prying questions about age, she can stretch the truth. In today’s society, there’s still somewhat of a stigma facing the aging woman; ageism does exist. But society is less vocal about its disdain. The media implies that it’s accepting of women aging gracefully with their fine lines and graying hair.

The new rules say that the aged female is appreciated for all they accomplish along with the strengths and skill sets they offer instead of whether they can bear children or look a certain way. Young adults look to their mature counterparts as mentors and leaders instead of disposable colleagues.

The dating world is seeing older women finding partnerships with younger mates who find them appealing, interesting, and sexy because they’re comfortable in their skin. This can be refreshing compared to younger females, who can often be insecure and need much reassurance.

Does that mean the tables are turning and it’s less rude to ask today’s woman her age? As long as the stigma exists under the surface and it does, it will always be rude.

2. Psychology

Some people find the question of age to not be a big deal, but it can have a psychological impact on women. That’s particularly true when age is just beginning to advance. It can be an uncomfortable stage mentally, physically, and emotionally as varying changes begin to take place.

A woman will find someone probing them for their age rude, particularly considering their internal battle with the loss of their youth and their perception that this means they’ve also lost their worth and vitality. As young adults, females develop the misconception that beauty is based solely on their age.

With that mindset, she’s mentally unprepared when those midlife changes begin to occur. Anyone bringing up the question of age can make a female feel uncomfortable, even embarrassed like she’s being put on the spot. At this point, she’s growing sensitive about the topic, not wanting to be judged based on how old she is.

Regardless of whether this is a workplace or meeting a new date, females advancing in age find this question to be an invasion of their privacy. A woman can become anxious, even take a hit on her self-esteem, wondering if she’s showing her age as the reason for people asking.

The priority with anyone is to show respect for their personal space particularly if you don’t know them. If someone wants to share private information, they’ll do it in their own time on their own terms.

3. Children

In the past and even today in some cultures, men will inquire about a woman’s age when meeting her to determine if they’re compatible. The question is whether she could be a potential wife and if she is capable of bearing children. The beliefs today vary from one country to the next based on religion, culture, and geographical situations.

As a rule in the US, the question of age is impolite and improper. If someone’s intention is to have children and settle down in a committed relationship, the individual should be direct about what they want from the start. This will either lead to a long-term exclusive partnership, or the woman can let the person know she’s not interested.

Questioning how old she is from the beginning to decide whether the relationship should progress is not only rude but fuels the stigma surrounding women, aging, and the roles that society feels they should fit into.


Women are sensitive about their age, choosing to keep the information private. This is because even today there are societal expectations for women that aren’t necessarily true for the aging man. When reaching midlife, females go through varying changes, one of which includes starting to question their own value and vitality. 

The reason is that, as a young adult, the perception is that beauty and worth are centered around youthfulness. 

Fortunately, the societal stigmas are beginning to loosen. They’re still there but society is less vocal, appearing to be more accepting of the aging female. All she accomplishes is appreciated as are her strengths and incredible skills. Does that mean you can ask her age? You shouldn’t invade anyone’s personal space so rudely.

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Sophie Simons

Sophie Simons

Sophie Simons is a leading psychologist with a passion for enriching relationships. Through empathetic counseling and insightful guidance, she empowers couples and individuals to foster deeper connections, resolve conflicts, and create lasting harmony. Sophie's expertise in relationship advice has touched countless lives, making her a trusted source for building fulfilling partnerships.

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