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What To Do if Your Boyfriend Never Wants To Do Anything

Irina Tracy
December 9, 2023

Feeling alone in a relationship can be a tricky thing to get used to. If your boyfriend never wants to do anything, there might be reasons for that. Some things you can help with, while others are just the way they are and need to be accepted as such. Here are a few things to consider if your boyfriend seems to refuse every activity you offer and constantly annoys you!

Keep an open communication 

A healthy relationship is based, first and foremost, on healthy communication. You want to make sure you talk to your boyfriend about everything that matters and that you are a good listener, too. 

When you address his lack of enthusiasm regarding different things that you want to do together, the tone makes the music. Try to stay away from criticizing or accusatory sentences, as they will only increase the emotional distance between you two. Talk about your feelings and why you want to do things with him. 

If you start such a conversation with reproaches, your boyfriend will get defensive, and you will not be able to reach a compromise. Listen to his reasoning and try to meet him halfway once both of you express the way you feel about this situation. 

Try to suggest things that both of you like to do

If your boyfriend never wants to do anything, maybe you are not suggesting activities that are exciting for both of you. Consider what makes his heart beat faster; maybe he may have a particular hobby that you could explore together or travel. If he likes football or basketball, you could get tickets to a game with his favorite team. Or if he likes a particular movie series, go to see the latest release at the cinema. 

The key is to choose something you both enjoy so he feels more ready to break out of his shell. Once you do that, he will be more open to joining you in other activities, and you will only have to be so selective sometimes. If you manage to get him out of the house to do something together, make it a pleasant time. There is a better time for negative or even deep conversations. Relax and enjoy each other’s company! 

Understand his perspective 

Before you know what approach would be best for your boyfriend’s seemingly introverted nature, you need to understand a bit about where it is coming from. He used to be more easygoing, but lately, he doesn’t seem to be in the mood for anything; maybe he is going through a stressful phase at work or with his family. Men don’t always open up about such issues as they are used to being the tough ones. So, you will have to identify it through his behavioral changes. 

On the other hand, if he was always like that, he might be dealing with some insecurity that keeps him from enjoying everything life has to offer. Or he is just the Netflix and chill type, and there is not much you can do about that. Love is not about changing each other but about embracing each other’s nature and supporting mutual growth. 

Once you understand what hides behind his lack of enthusiasm to do anything, it will be easier to understand and accept it or find the right way to improve it. 

Don’t cancel your own needs. 

Remember that your happiness is just as important as your relationship and your partner, if not even more. If you are not happy with yourself, you will not be able to offer the love and support your boyfriend needs. So, make sure you don’t neglect yourself and invest in the things you love. 

Don’t quit your hobbies just because your boyfriend is not so excited to join them! These are the small pleasures of life that contribute to your well-being and overall happiness. Plus, if he sees that you are so dedicated to your activities, he might be more open to seeing why you like doing them so much, if for no other reason than out of pure curiosity. 

Encourage him to make plans. 

Sometimes, the solution is as simple as encouraging your boyfriend to take the lead. If you are the one suggesting what to do all the time, he might feel inferior and controlled and refuse your suggestions as a sign of rebellion. This type of dynamic is never healthy for a long-term relationship.

You might only sometimes like what he wants to do, but if you want to break the ice, it would be wise to compromise at least once or twice. He will feel more confident in suggesting new activities for both of you and will also be more open to your ideas. 

Try counseling 

If this situation takes a toll on your relationship and your well-being, it might be too big for you to handle. This is the moment when counseling might be a great idea. A professional can support both of you in finding productive ways to communicate so you can reach a better understanding of each other’s needs. 

Couple therapy can help build efficient strategies to reach the level of harmony that will satisfy both of you. In order to go to therapy, both of you need to understand that there’s a problem and it damages your relationship. Once you start counseling, you will have to act as a team to save your relationship without sacrificing your authentic nature in the process. 


If your boyfriend never wants to do anything, there is no need to panic right away. It could be a phase he is going through, or he is not feeling like himself lately. Keep an open mind and focus on the solution rather than the problem. Relationships are only sometimes smooth and effortless, but as long as both of you are committed to making it work, you will find the right approach!

Make sure to keep open communication and contribute to each other’s life in a positive manner so you can grow through your bond! 

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Irina Tracy

Irina Tracy

As a lifestyle journalist, certified astrologer, and published author, I write about everything that makes my heart beat faster. After taking my degree in journalism and astrology, I decided to delve deeper into the subjects that appeal to me and published several books worldwide—looking forward to exploring exciting topics and mystical aspects of life one article after another.

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